Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus 042710

In the back streets of London, Dr Parnassus (a very very old man), his daughter, a young man, and a midget drive around with their traveling show. On the surface, it appears that Dr. Parnassus is merely a crazy old man but by participating in his show, you gain access to a magical world that will change your life(white chocolate mocha). The problem is two-fold. One, no one is this modern age will participate. Two, Parnassus made a deal with the devil several years ago and on her sixteenth birthday, he loses his daughter. But, a mysterious stranger (Heath Ledger, Johnny Depp, Jude Law, and Colin Farrell all playing the same person) shows up and turns things around.

This movie has a great behind the scenes story. When Ledger died, he had not updated his will in several years, meaning that his three year old daughter received none of his money. At the time of his death he was in the middle of filming this movie. Director Terry Gilliam still wanted to finish the film. Depp, Farrell, and Law all not only agreed to help finish with the film but also wanted everything that they would be paid to be given to Ledger’s daughter. And surprisingly, three actors playing the same character works. Anyway, this movie is trippy. In a good way. It’s a modern day fantasy without trying to rewrite old fairy tales, which we’ve seen far too much of these days. Instead, the story is very original, unless it’s based on a book I don’t know about, and isn’t totally full of itself. The performances are all very strong, particularly newcomer Lily Cole as the daughter but my opinion might be tainted because she’s beautiful. The other actors are great too though. A big highlight though is the magical world of the imaginarium. It looks like a world based on Gilliam’s drawings back when he was still with Monty Python. It sounds too weird, but it’s actually quite lovely. And whimsical at the same time.

The movie is definitely not for everyone. It’s really trippy and the ending is a little disjointed, abrupt, and too open ended. At times the fantasy world gets to strange, leaving you to think, “hold on, what just happened?” One scene does leave you feeling a little disturbed but it was Colin Farrell so it’s okay. There’s also a couple of questions about the Ledger/Depp/Law/Farrell character that are never answered. Such as why doesn’t his imagination affect the Imaginarium? You’ll understand that if you see it.

This is a great late night movie but as trippy as it is, I don’t see it becoming a stoner movie. I do think it has the potential to develop a small cult following. B.

Avatar 042210

A group of English settlers land in Virginia, some to make a new home, others to look for gold. The most adventurous of them, John Smith goes exploring one day and is captured by Indians. He’s sentenced to be killed for being a white demon. But just before the execution the princess asks that he be spared and made her servant because, she has a crush on him. She keeps him for a month before returning him to the settlement. That winter because so many spent all of their time searching for gold the settlement has no food and out of kindness, the natives bring them food.

That was the story of Pocahontas and to all of those that claim this is the same story I ask, “Which story did you learn?” The main reason is the obvious Indian parallel in this movie and people think “Indian love story... yeah Pocahontas.” The real similar story in this instance is Last Samurai, which you should see. Heck, Romeo and Juliet is way closer than Pocahontas.

Now that that’s off my chest, here’s Avatar’s plot. If you’ve seen Last Samurai, you can skip this part. A future earth company has set up a mining colony on a newly discovered planet, Pandora, searching for a mineral that’s very rare on earth but in abundance there. The biggest problem is that there’s a group of humanoids, the Na’Vi, living there. Not only that, but their village is sitting on the largest mineral deposit on the planet and they don’t want to leave. To this end the company has developed a method of growing avatars that resemble the natives, that they can control by mixing in human dna when constructing it. One of their avatar drivers dies in an accident and in an attempt to not waste the incredible amount of money spent on the avatar they hire his marine twin brother to take his place because they share the same dna. He’s sent on a diplomatic mission to gain the native’s trust and after getting to know them and their ways, begins to think he may be on the wrong side.

I was excited about this movie for three years. I love James Cameron. I’ve seen all but two of his movies, Titanic and Piranha 2. Titanic for a lame, personal reason and Piranha 2 because it’s considered one of the worst movies ever made. But he has a standard of excellence in all of his movies except Piranha 2 and it’s his first one in twelve years. One thing that’s fun about this movie is that it makes earthlings the invaders on an alien planet. We’re used to it being the other way around and I’m not saying it’s refreshing, it’s just worth noting. The plot is simple, the dialogue frequently uninteresting but the acting is up to the usual standard expected from a James Cameron movie. Now let’s get to the real reason that people are flocking to this movie: the visual effects are amazing. Absolutely amazing. Were it not for the fact that so much is outside the realm of physical possibility, you would not be able to tell what’s real and what isn’t. The visuals are absolutely breathtaking.

The negative. Apart from the amazing visuals this movie really has nothing strongly going for it. It’s a movie based solely on spectacle. It’s trying to make a statement that’s so blunt that you can feel it smacking you upside the head. The story is too well known. We’ve seen it a so many times and this brings nothing new other than large blue people.

This movie is a joy to watch and if you can find it in a dollar theater or something, go see it because it can only be truly appreciated on a large screen. I’m sure it’ll be fun on the smaller screen but not as much. If you get a new blu ray player and a huge TV and you want to test it, get this movie. B+ for quality but I don’t plan to buy it.

The Lovely Bones 042010

A young girl in the 70’s is murdered by her pedophilic serial killer neighbor. The movie follows as she is stuck in limbo and attempts to move on to the other side and her family attempts to move on from her death.

This is Peter Jackson’s first movie since King Kong (which I will admit was too long and could’ve done without the ice skating scene but I did like it) and it’s not what you’d expect. It’s more like his pre Lord of the Rings movies which were standarder dramas with some very clever visuals. The movie is a very taught story and keeps you on the edge of your seat for pretty much the whole movie. The afterlife scenes are amazing and while secular in worldview it actually makes heaven look really fun with just enough strange thrown in. Rachel Weisz and Mark Wahlberg give their usual excellent performances (except for Wahlberg’s dual strike-out with The Happening and Max Payne but we’ll forget about that) as the parents but the real stars in this one though are Stanley Tucci as the psychopath and Saoirse (pronounced sur-shuh but it’s Gaelic) Ronan as the lead girl. Tucci is one of those that everyone’s seen in something but no one knows who he is. Look him up if you doubt me. He’s just a little bit pitiable, a lot mousy, and all kinds of creepy in a subtle way that makes it extra freaky. Imagine Alan Rickman crossed with Rick Moranis. Sounds strange but it’s close to the right image. Ronan is another on my list of young actors to keep an eye on. If you don’t believe me watch Death Defying Acts. It has Guy Pearce and Catherine Zeta Jones and she stole the movie. She is a brilliant actress and only fifteen. She’s also going to be really attractive. I can’t comment on her current attractive level because she’s a minor.

The negative. Two words: the ending. It’s totally strange. You like it but it’s totally not satisfying. At all. And with all the amazing visuals at the very end there’s one that’s so fake looking it reminds you of the 80’s.

A-. It’s a great movie that strangely enough for a drama is a joy to look at it and unlike Avatar, it’s got depth behind the spectacle.

The Young Victoria 042010

Before Queen Victoria became one of the, if not the, most beloved monarchs in Britain’s history (her biggest competitor being Queen Elizabeth) she was a young woman. Her father was the brother of the king of England and the king of Belgium. Neither of them had a child so she was the next in line for the throne. Because of this, her mother’s advisor is constantly trying to gain control over her, and her Belgian uncle is trying to arrange her marriage with Albert, a young man that he’s been training since he was a boy to marry Victoria and twist her will toward Belgium’s interests. When he meets her though, he immediately falls head over heels for her and rebels against the King’s intentions.

This is a love story, but I’ll admit I liked it. Emily Blunt does an excellent job of playing Victoria as simultaneously regal and unsure of herself. This is also a frequently untold portion of Victoria’s life. History class doesn’t touch on the failures of her early years and instead just goes straight to why she’s remembered, which is the point of history class but it makes it seem less real. And less interesting. The real star of this movie though is the guy who played Prince Albert. I’ve been told he was in Pride and Prejudice but I didn’t know that. I don’t know how accurate the story about Albert and Victoria is but the things that Albert put up with and did for Victoria because he loved her is incredibly admirable. Guys who watch this will respect him and most girls will fall in love with him. Really great guy.

The negative. It moves really, slow. This is expected; historical drama and a romance not a whole lot of time for pacing. There’s some disjointed aspects of the plot but again, expected; real story.

I really don’t have a whole lot to say for the bad it’s few and far between. The negative is really just the simple fact that it’s not for everyone. Some will think it’s boring others will find it dumb, and others won’t be able to admit that they liked it. I did. For a date movie, this is a good choice, girls will really like it and guys won’t mind it too much or maybe even like it. B.

Defendor 041310

Woody Harrelson is a masked vigilante who calls himself Defendor, yes it is misspelled but he’s insistent about the pronunciation. He’s a little slow but he’s determined to bring the city’s crime lord, Captain Industry, to justice.

The movie is a great concept that to my knowledge has not been before. I’m not aware of another incident where there’s been an almost retarded “super-hero”. If you don’t count the Hulk. What you have is man with no powers but has a true sense of right and wrong and he’s determined to do what’s right. He ends up stumbling across a deeply rooted conspiracy but he doesn’t quite understand what it is that he’s found. Woody Harrelson does a great job of playing Arthur/Defendor. He’s lovable and doesn’t make fun of the slow population a la Adam Sandler. Instead you admire him. And it makes the point of justice sharper by saying if this man can do this why can’t we?

This is another comedy that left me thinking, “why?” (again, do nooooooot see Taking Woodstock). I chuckled once. And it’s not that the jokes weren’t funny or I didn’t get them, it’s that they weren’t there. It was just not funny with the exception of Woody saying you shouldn’t do drugs. Another negative was Kat Dennings. I don’t like her and I can’t figure out why. But she played her character, one that should have been sympathetic and likeable in a way that made you really dislike her.

This movie is actually very good. It’s not a comedy but if you go in expecting a drama, you’ll really like it but it’s not a multiple viewing movie. B-/C+.

Pirate Radio 041310

In the mid-60’s it was illegal for radio stations in Britain to play rock and roll. In an act of civil disobedience, several DJ’s put radio transmission equipment on tanker ships and broadcast from off the coast. Pirate Radio follows the daily life of the most popular ship after a new boy, Carl, arrives on the ship as well as the government’s attempts to shut them down.

I liked this movie, if for no other reason than the soundtrack is amazing. The cast is also a Brit-com dream: Rhys Darby (Flight of the Conchords), Nick Frost (Shaun of the Dead), Chris O’Dowd (IT Crowd), and Katherine Parkinson (IT Crowd). Beyond that it also has Emma Thompson (a lot of stuff), Kenneth Branaugh (a lot of stuff), Bill Nighy (Underworld, Pirates of the Caribbean 2&3), Jack Davenport (Pirates of the Caribbean), and Phillip Seymour Hoffman (a lot of stuff). The scenes in the ship are random but they’re a lot of fun to watch. This little known part of rock history is also just fascinating to learn about, however inaccurate the film may be. It’s also really funny.

The biggest complaints that I have with this movie are three-fold. First, you had the government working hard to come up with ways to shut down the stations but back on the ship, nothing ever comes of it. There is the whole based on a true story thing but they could’ve played it up a little bit. The second, this is an unnecessarily R rated movie. The drugs are never shown but implied. The sex is never shown but implied and the one scene of nudity, completely unnecessary. So the language is not needed. This could’ve easily been a PG-13 movie but they went for the R. This doesn’t bother me too much but from a marketing perspective... yeah. There was one scene that without the language would not have been nearly as funny. Third, how in the world did Jack Black not get on board this movie?

Great characters, fun cast, good script and fun setting. If you like Rock, watch this movie. B+. You’ll want to see it at least twice.

Alvin and the Chipmunks: the Squeakuel 033010

The Chipmunks are on top of the world. Sell-out shows everywhere and they have a family as established in the first movie. Everything is great until Alvin’s antics cause an on stage accident that lands Dave in a Parisian hospital. He tells the chipmunks that he’s arranged for them to live with their aunt and he also wants them to go to school. They get to the airport and their aunt is promptly landed in the hospital (not Alvin’s fault this time) leaving them in the care of their loser cousin Toby. Once the chipmunks start school the football team declares war on them for stealing their limelight as the entire female student body is in love with them (yes, it is weird). They’re then asked to perform for a school to school music contest to win enough money to keep their school’s music program while Alvin’s popularity guzzling steadily makes him impossible to work with, all of this while their former manager is trying to destroy them with a rival singing group, the Chippettes.

This one was better than the first movie , that I will definitely concede. The story was better and most of the jokes were actually funny. The character of Toby (TV’s Chuck) was also more fun to watch than Dave because he was trying, he just didn’t know what he was doing. David Cross as the evil manager really shines, being both pitiably goofy but simultaneously a contemptuous jerk but his character was less vile than in the first movie. The addition of the Chippettes is the real highlight of the movie though, as evidenced by the ad campaign.

This is, obviously, a kid’s movie. As complicated as that plot summary was, it took a mere fifteen minutes of screen time. The entire thing is very fast paced and quick, leaving you feeling cheated likeI mentioned last week with Fantastic Mr Fox. Another thing is that while Toby is fun to watch, his character never really grows, he takes a step forward but at the end (spoiler alert) he’s still a loser. It was also a bit disappointing to not have anything new this time around. This is a fairly constant plot with the chipmunks. Brittany was also nicer than usual.

Typical chipmunk fair. Kids will love it and parents will be filled with nostalgia and like parts of it. Quality wise though, C-.

Sherlock Holmes 033010

Sherlock Holmes has had Lord Blackwood arrested following a cult ceremony and he is supplementally hung. A few days later, Blackwood rises from the grave starting a cat and mouse game between the two as Holmes tries to stop his plot to take over the British Empire. All this while dealing with the impending marriage of his good friend Watson and the arrival of the one who literally and figuratively got away.

When this movie was forthcoming, for those who regularly research movies, a big deal was made of this movie’s homoeroticism and how hints about the extremeness of Watson and Holmes relationship would be played out. The actors, Jude Law and Robert Downey Jr, even talked about these things quite frequently. This is mentioned in the positive paragraph because all of those claims are total bull. I was looking and couldn’t find anything. The only possible place where you could find this would be in Holmes attempts to talk Watson out of getting married but it’s really done out of fear of losing his only good friend. Now, onto other things. This is filmed like a detective show but with a Holmes twist. Like shows like Psych and Monk you are shown every clue and given every hint about every aspect of the mystery, but unlike those shows they aren’t pointed out to you. If you really pay attention, like Holmes, and if you know what everything is, like Holmes, you can in fact figure the whole thing out. I did not but it was still fun. Another thing that people were unsure about was the true notion that Holmes would be a more prolific fighter, and boy was he. However, this new touch to Holmes was done in a very Holmes way. I won’t spoil it but it’s awesome. The movie is superbly shot and actually feels like it could be in Victorian England. The dialogue is excellent, fast paced, and witty. I was looking forward to this movie from the time that it was announced because I love Guy Ritchie and this was old school Guy Ritchie. All the actors are excellent, I wasn’t sure how I felt about Jude Law but he won me over and who in this country doesn’t like Rachel McAdams?

I’m having to reach for the negatives. Some of the dialogue is too fast and you feel you missed something and parts are too quiet. I caught a lot because I was expecting as such but my parents and brother did have a little trouble. Beyond that I really can’t think of a negative.

Don’t rent, buy this movie. It’s one of the best popcorn movies of 09 and you’ll want to watch it several times so you save money in the long run. Solid A.

The Blind Side 032310

The movie starts when a black man arrives at a Christian prep school with his son and a boy, Mike, who “sleeps on his couch from time to time”. He approaches the school’s coach and asks if he could put in a word for the two boys because they’re gifted athletes and he wants them to get out of the slop of public schools. The coach is amazed at their natural talent and does so; even after Mike is found to be scholastically unable to be on a sports team, he still pushes for him to be admitted because it’s the right thing to do. Fast forward a few months, the son has dropped out but Mike, is still regularly attending though he keeps to himself and feels like an outcast because he’s homeless, black, and a good foot taller than everyone. The only person who makes an effort to befriend him is a young boy named S.J. One night, while driving home S.J.’s family sees Mike walking by the side of the road. The mother, Sandra Bullock, insists he come home with them since he has nowhere else to go. What follows is the story of Mike’s relationship with the family.

This appears to be a sports movie. It’s the true story of NFL left tackle Mike Oher’s life through college, and sports do play a part but it is not a sports movie. It’s a movie about how love can change someone’s life and how doing the right thing can be hard but is still worth doing. Sandra Bullock plays her character flipside from how we usually see her. She’s normally very sarcastic or a little on the silly side. This one jokes enough to make you like her but at the same time is essentially a dramatic role. If you’ve been a fan of her for a long time you almost think to yourself, aw... she’s grown up. She was the only one nominated for an award in this movie but that’s really just because her character stood out as the lead role. All the actors, even Tim McGraw, did an excellent job. Quinton Aaron in particular gave a very touching and mature performance as Mike. He looks ignorant but at the same time you can tell he’s not. Mom’s will cry at this movie.

This year, for the first time, there were ten best picture nominations and I think that’s the only reason this film got one. It’s a great movie but not that great. The pacing is very slow in the beginning and some of the jokes were a bit cheesy. But these are minor complaints about an otherwise really good movie.

B+. An excellent and touching family movie but nothing really new or groundbreaking.

Fantasitc Mr. Fox 032310

Mr. Fox is the area’s greatest farm thief. He and his wife can get anything from any farmer. Until, they both get caught in a trap, she tells him she’s pregnant, and he promises to get a safer job. Two years (twelve fox years) later, Mr. Fox is hitting a midlife crisis. The result? He buys a new, above-ground house and decides to relive his glory days by robbing three local farmers: Boggis, Buntz, and Bean three of the meanest, nastiest, ugliest farmers in the valley. At first, he’s happy, but then Bean finds out where Fox lives and the farmers declare war on him. Now, as they hunt for Fox, he has to try and stay alive but also keep his family safe as well as every other animal in the valley who have all been sucked into the fight.

I loved this movie. This movie is very strange and reminded me of Hoodwinked. It’s essentially an independent animated movie and it’s really funny. The jokes are all really random and the dialogue is really witty. It’s directed by indy legend Wes Anderson (and if you don’t like his movies, don’t worry it’s different), who has apparently been working on the stop motion film for five years and it was time well spent. Everything has a very unique look and the film feels longer than it is but in a good way. By that I mean it’s the same length as Hey Arnold! The Movie but that movie felt like it was only forty-five minutes or so which left you feeling cheated. Fantastic Mr Fox feels just right. The plot is great because for a kids movie, it gets really dark and, frankly, hopeless which always makes an ending more satisfying.

I’m really not sure what to tell you about the bad in this movie. There was one scene near the end that made no sense whatsoever and the ending itself felt overly long. Beyond that, this movie really isn’t for everyone. The humor is probably beneath some and not in others taste. I think they’re probably in a small minority but they are there.

An A. I enjoyed this movie the more than any I’ve seen since Sherlock Holmes in January. That’s going to be another glowing review next week.

Men Who Stare At Goats 032310

Ewan MacGregor is a really down on his luck reporter with an American accent. His wife has just left him for his editor and he’s determined to prove to her that he’s a real man by going to Iraq and reporting on the newly started war. The problem is: he doesn’t have the clearance to cross the border. But, he meets George Clooney, a previously retired psychic soldier who is on a secret mission. MacGregor had heard about this group of soldiers before and offers to tell the group’s story if George Clooney takes him with him. What follows is a strange story mixed with a history lesson.

This movie is quirky, it’s silly, and it’s really clever. The jokes are funny and the story is told very well. It intercuts between the history of the psychic soldiers (codenamed: Jedi) and the story Ewan MacGregor’s character is going through and you never lose interest and the problem that many stories working like that have, only really being interested in one of the stories, is kept at bay. The humor is kept at a constant because even when the dialogue isn’t being funny, the situation is so absurd that you keep laughing at it. It’s particularly funny to hear Ewan ask what a jedi is. If you don’t know why that’s funny, I have nothing more to say to you. There’s also an area of mystery surrounding George Clooney, where you’re consistently unsure if he’s insane, brainwashed, or really has the powers he’s claiming to have. Plus the politics you would expect surrounding the Iraq war aren’t really mentioned. There’s one scene that being anti-Iraq is the only explanation but it’s not annoying.

Really, my only complaint is the story, in the end, didn’t go anywhere. There wasn’t any dénouement, merely the ending of the story. There was no real villain. There was an antagonist but he really didn’t pose much of threat and he didn’t really meet much of an end.

The story is fun and really caters to those that enjoyed the nutty comedies of the 80’s. I give it a C+. Well worth watching but while people will still remember it, there will be no rebirth of watching it in about fifteen years.

Armored 031610

An armored truck company has just authorized its newest guard, and he’s having money issues. The other guards know this and use this as a selling point when they propose their scheme: steal their latest delivery and make it look like they were robbed. At first he refuses, but when he finds out he’s about to have his brother taken away by child services, he reconsiders on one condition: no one gets hurt. At first all looks good, until things start to go wrong, leading to violence. Now the new guy is locked in an armored car while the others try to get him out to kill him so he won’t rat on them.

This movie was a great idea for a thriller. It’s a very simple plot, money heist goes wrong, guy gets cold feet, others turn on him. You become invested in the lead to the point, that more than not dying, you don’t want him to abandon his principles.

This is the most annoying type of bad movie, the kind that could’ve been really good. It suffers from both a sub-par script and either bad directing or too much studio involvement. Not enough time is paid to the situation and the movie jumps to different plot points too swiftly for you to really grasp what’s going on and why. The conclusion felt forced, swift, and unsatisfying. While, yes, you are very attached to the lead role, he’s the only one remotely developed or consistent in his character. As for the poor script, most of the dialogue was completely unnatural. There was one conversation where one character says the other’s name in pretty much every sentence. No one talks like that. And something has to be said about the marketing team. Way too much was revealed in the trailers. One scene that probably would’ve been really tense was completely ruined by the fact that I knew how it ended already.

A great film that almost was. D+. Don’t bother watching it. Really not worth it.

Boondock Saints II: All Saints Day 030910

Ten years after the original Boondock Saints, the MacManus brothers are living in self inflicted exile in their ancestral home of Ireland. Back in Boston a priest is murdered and the culprit makes it look like the Saints are behind it. This is something up with which they will not put. The brothers return to Boston to wreak their vigilante justice on the man who dared besmirch their name.

This movie was pretty awesome. It had a lot of new action and jokes, as well as revisiting the old jokes in a non annoying way. It was a lot of fun and didn’t destroy the original. It’s sad that that’s what you wish for in the world of sequels but I’ll take it when it happens. It was about the characters and was made not to make money but to make the fans of the original happy.

The jokes were occasionally hokie and the new side kick was a little annoying and I found myself wishing he’d die. Plus as creepy as he was in the original the absence of Willem Defoe was a detraction.

I didn’t have much to say because I saw this awhile ago. It gets a B-. Not as good as the original but worth seeing. You do have to see the original first though. And if you haven’t... why?

Planet 51 030910

A planet of aliens apparently going through the 50’s (when the world went kind of alien nuts) is turned upside down when an astronaut lands on the planet. The aliens become convinced that aliens are invading their planet which means the astronaut must be dissected. This complicates the life of the young teen alien who befriends him.

This movie had several really clever lines and did a great job of making spoofs of sci-fi cliches. Pretty much any big name alien movie you can think of is mocked and by someone who clearly loves them. One particularly funny thing is the occasionally brought up joke of who really is the alien, the human or the aliens who live there. Then you find out that pretty much the entire production crew was hispanic. I mean, everyone but the voices. It was racistly funny. Hilarious.

Now the bad. There was barely anything original other than a few jokes. There was the role flip of the human being the alien but beyond that, nothing happened that was new. It was the same alien movies with the one change. Dwayne Johnson is usually very funny but his job of voicing the astronaut should’ve been given to Patrick Warburton because he’s awesome. There was a hippie guy too, always protesting the military’s involvement, and the hippies seemed to be mocked because it was expected not because the director or writer actually find them funny or worthy of derision. They are and should be.

D+. Little kids will like it but you’ll want to rent something else. This was made by Warner Bros and Pixar’s title of the brilliant animators is safe.

Up In The Air 030910

George Clooney has an interesting job. He fires people for a living. Whenever someone doesn’t have the balls to fire someone themselves, they call his firm and he flies to do the dirty deed. The sad part is he enjoys it. He has no friends and no contact with his family. Not only that, he’s trying to break into the lecture circuit by telling people that the way to go is to have no connections in life. All he’s living for right now is becoming the seventh person to ever reach the 10,000,000 frequent flyer mile mark. But his life is turned upside down when a new girl, both at his firm and to Hollywood, suggests to the manager going completely digital and removing the need to fly anywhere. This is a problem because it destroys his chances of reaching his mark as well as keep him from running into his recent acquaintance Alex, a woman he’s drawn to because she’s just like him. George convinces his boss the new girl doesn’t know anything about the real world of firing people which lands him the responsibility of bringing her as a tag along.

I really liked this movie considering the slow pacing and the faux indy look it went for. I actually found the musical opening credits very entertaining as well. The director is Jason Reitman of Juno fame and it’s great to see that while the humor is similar, this is not a teen movie. This is more of an adult dramedy and it’s great that he’s not stuck in a mold. George Clooney does a great job of playing a character that you should despise but instead pity because he’s sad and doesn’t know it. The new girl, Anna Kendrick, I didn’t want to like her, because all she’s done other than this is the Twilight series and... blech (rifftrax.com. Go there if you share my opinion). But, she has now been added to my list of young actresses to keep an eye on. A: she’s adorable and B: she’s actually very good. She easily holds her own in scenes with veteran actors George Clooney and Jason Bateman, seeming very comfortable around them and in front of the camera.

The bad. The pacing was a little slow and as you know I’m not a fan of the whole indy movement. Somehow they all feel like the director is spitting on your music taste and saying you should like these bands instead. The movie also had a somewhat open ending, and you’re not entirely sure what happens. You know George has been pushed to change but you’re not sure if he will. The R rating was also unnecessary. It deserved it because of the language but had they toned down on that just a little, it could have easily received a PG-13 and been just as good. Not really a point against the movie, just the marketing team. These are minor critiques in an otherwise enjoyable movie.

B+. A great date night movie, that you’ll also want to buy at discount because the urge to see it again will probably hit you randomly.

2012 030210

India, 2009: a geologist visits his astrophysicist friend in India and is told something startling. The sun has started producing a normally harmless form of radiation in such a large quantity that the earth’s solid center core is now melting which will cause it to expand and swell against the crust. Government heads are informed and preparations are made. Fast forward three years. John Cusack is an out of work writer on a camping trip with his estranged children. He meets a strange hermit, Woody Harrelson, who starts rambling about his conspiracy theories involving the US government and the approaching apocalypse. Soon after, the world literally starts falling apart and John is fighting to keep his family alive through it all.

I went into this movie expecting to be positively biased. I love John Cusack. I love Roland Emmerich, the director. I’m also partial to disaster flicks and this was one heck of a disaster flick. It was easily twice as awesome a spectacle as Day After Tomorrow and had none of the politics. Beyond the spectacle, it once again exhibited Emmerich’s great gifting as a director. He’s very well aware that you can make an amazing visual spectacle but that’s not enough to keep people’s interest. What you need is the human dynamic and characters that you like and identify with. Emmerich is a master of the ensemble cast, and seems to effortlessly both keep up with and develop the incredibly large number of characters in all of his movies. This is no exception, with just about every death that you see affecting you emotionally without you feeling manipulated.

Now, some of the characters are a touch cliched. The good scientist, the bad selfish scientist, the humanitarian chick, the father, the kids who don’t like the father, the mother etc. We’ve seen all the characters before but I’m okay with that. Some of the dialogue was almost expectedly bad but I didn’t really care because I’m still recovering from GI Joe. Don’t watch that.

With spectacular special effects and engaging characters this movie is totally worth watching. A- because I gave Zombieland an A and it wasn’t quite that cool.

Gentlemen Broncos 030210

A young homeschooled boy(the kid from Sky High) goes to a writing conference where he attends workshops hosted by one of his favorite sci-fi writers (Flight of the Conchords’ Jemaine Clement). He submits one of his novels for a writing contest only to have it stolen by his hard-up-for-an-idea hero.

Jemaine stole the story idea and this movie. His portrayal of a primadonna sci-fi writer who feels everything he writes is great because he wrote it is fun, funny, and easily the best part of the movie. Bar none. I personally felt myself identifying with the lead role a lot because I’ve had a lot of the same thoughts about being a writer and not trusting people, etc and in that regard it was a pretty honest interpretation of the young writer. Christopher Paolini may disagree with me but no one cares what he thinks.

Okay, this movie was directed by the guy that made Napoleon Dynamite and it’s just like Napoleon Dynamite with different characters and more of a plot. It even had the same opening credits only with books instead of plates. ND was successful because it was totally unique at the time. It was a different type of quirky than we’d seen before. But now, after six years of copies, rip-offs, and homages it’s not unique anymore. And without that aspect, it’s kind of stupid. Some may enjoy this but I thought it was slow and fairly boring when Jemaine wasn’t on screen. This is kind of sad because the lead is on my list of young actors to keep an eye on. He deserves to do better movies than this and frankly I expect better of Jemaine.

D. It’s a big waste of time and even the energy used both by you to watch it and that you’ll have to pay for in your electric bill later.

The Box 022310

Cameron Diaz and James Matheson are a married couple with an eleven year-old son. Matheson is a NASA scientist who just found out that his request to be an astronaut has been denied. Diaz is a school teacher who just found out she’s getting a pay cut. The same day, Frank Langella arrives and gives them a box with a button. He tells them that if they press it someone, somewhere that they don’t know will die and they’ll be given a million dollars for pushing the button. They decide that the whole thing is a joke and press the button, but when they’re given the million dollars they become paranoid and guilt ridden. Now they try and figure out who this man is and what they did.

This is the third film by Richard Kelly of Donnie Darko fame and I was really looking forward to it. His films, while very strange, are extremely atmospheric and you find tension building for no reason immediately after the film starts. The idea of him making a thriller is still very appealing but this wasn’t one. That’s not to say that it wasn’t good. All of Kelly’s films are strange because he uses them to explore philosophy and religion, and he does the same thing here. The parallel to original sin was very intriguing (Diaz presses the button but Matheson did nothing to stop her). The couple’s attempt to discover what was going on are incredibly tense because they stumble onto something that appears to be part zombie cult and part invasion of the body snatchers, making it very creepy.

Like Kelly’s second film, Southland Tales, the weak point is the ending. Part of Donnie Darko’s brilliance was the movie makes absolutely no sense at all. For the entire movie you are completely lost until the very end. In the last three minutes of the movie one plot twist arrives that makes the entire movie make sense. This didn’t do something that drastic, but the ending lacked a definite conclusion. The main plotline was wrapped up but there were at least three or four minor plots that were left hanging. Plus the scenes following the ending seemed to set up a sequel and you want one because one sub plot seemed to involve the coming end of the world I’d like that to be explained a little more.

The Box is good, but it gets too caught up in its own complexity. Fans of Kelly and the strange will enjoy but it’s certainly not for everyone. C - .

The Damned United 022310

Michael Sheen plays Brian Clough, a British football (soccer) coach with a gift. He can take a nobody team and in a very short time make them the dominate team in the country. This leads to pride and being a jerk and the movie explores his character growth.

This is a movie that normally I wouldn’t give a second look. I’m not a fan of soccer by any stretch of the imagination and I really don’t like bio movies because they’re frequently boring. The reason is, a movie should not be about a person. It should be about something. Benjamin Button was boring because it had no plot, it was just his life. Contrariwise, Amazing Grace was a great movie because while it was about William Wilberforce, it was more about William Wilberforce trying to end slavery in the UK. Now, that being said, I looked at this movie because I like the lead actor. I was happy to find out though, that while it is about Clough, it’s more about Clough’s obsession with fellow coach Don Revie. Beating him at every turn becomes his white whale and the extent to which he tries to go to accomplish this goal is both sad and engaging.

Damned United does have its weak points. Pacing is a little slow but you’re okay with that because the scenes in the slow spots are still entertaining. There’s also a few unexplained things. At one point, Clough’s wife and daughter disappear and he’s with his sons alone. Whether they got a divorce or what is unexplained. Adding that drama would’ve brought the movie down but they still could’ve mentioned what happened.

Really, a great drama starring one of Britain’s rising actors. B all the way.

The Informant 022310

Matt Damon plays Mark Whitacre, a young executive with a company called ADM that deals in agricultural products, particularly corn by-products. He becomes aware of corporate crime and goes to the FBI about it. They ask him to be a spy for them and help take down the company; a job he’s really not qualified for.

This movie exhibits one thing that we are all very aware of: Matt Damon is a really good actor. He’s gone through the roles of a hard raised genius, a borderline psychotic angel of death, a reluctant super agent who doesn’t want to be, a young, excited thief desperate to prove himself to the big dogs, and now a character that can only be described as a dork. The way he dresses, the way he walks, the way he talks are all so not Jason Bourne or even Matt Damon that it’s easy to forget who it is. Mark’s ineptitude at being a spy is really great to watch, and it’s great that this movie never goes anti-corporate America on you. Right now, that’s refreshing.

The biggest setback for the movie is it’s based on a true story. The problem with true stories is they rarely just end and once we get to the end of this one it blends into another story. This would be fine, but the movie also switches gears on you. It goes from being and enjoyable comedy (not hilarious but enjoyable) to being some kind of psychological drama. You essentially end up watching two different, but good, movies. However, you don’t want to do that and the flip is kind of jarring.

Spot on acting throughout from all involved make this movie worth watching but it can’t save it from its story problems. C.

Justice League: Crisis on Two Earths 022310

A super-powered Lex Luthor arrives in metropolis and tells the Justice League that he’s from an alternate earth (standard comic procedure) where his justice league has been killed by a supervillain crime syndicate. He asks the Justice League to return to his dimension with him to help save his world from the dark versions of themselves.

DC has really come up with a clever idea in recent years. Open their own animation department and release straight to video versions of their comic book stories for fans. Not only that, but most of them (exception: Batman/Superman: Public Enemies) have been very entertaining. This one is no exception. The story is clever and I was strangely interested in finding out the antithesis of each character. Consequently I felt bad when I couldn’t figure it out. If anyone knows who the president was supposed to be please tell me. I will tell you one thing that most critics would complain about, but not me; I found it amusing. There’s a bizarre racist and sexist undertone through the story. The deciding split into the different worlds seems to be that Super WOMAN rather than Super Man crashed to earth. This apparently led to other ethnicities gaining powers. All the dark versions either have a darker skin tone or an obvious accent. Some might be offended but I found it funny and ballsy.

The negative starts with one of my constant complaints involving the DC world. Superman’s an enormous wuss and we all know it. Another small thing is I’ve been watching Batman, Superman and Justice League shows since I was four and the same voice actors have always done the same characters. In this one they didn’t and while that’s not exactly bad it was strangely disheartening. Another problem was comic book logic. For example, initially Batman refuses to help so he doesn’t help until later. It’s a known fact that after the formation of the Justice League Batman figured out how to kill each member in the off chance that they turned evil and this intel wasn’t applied after he joined. There was also a romance that I found odd and out of place. I feel this actually would have been better if it was longer.

I’d say this deserves a C+. Nothing’s too overtly wrong with it but it doesn’t do anything new or great. However, it is easily accessible for both die hard and casual comic fans.

Vampire's Assistant 022310

A boy with a minor spider obsession and his best friend with a minor vampire obsession go to a freak show where John C Reilly performs an act with a huge, deadly spider. Our lead character develops some kind of obsession and sneaks into the dressing room to steal it. In the process he finds out that John C Reilly is a vampire. After stealing the spider the best friend is bitten and winds up in the hospital. In exchange for an antidote the lead agrees to become a vampire and help John C Reilly with his act. After faking his death and joining the freak show, the boy becomes aware of the world of the supernatural and the forces at war around him.

This is a kid movie but I was interested because it looked funny. It was actually a very enjoyable movie. It never went too far into the Harry Potter plagiarism. There was the whole magic world people aren’t aware of aspect but let’s be honest, MIB did that before HP. John C Reilly does an excellent job of playing someone with a dark than rather silly sense of humor and actually plays the part really well. The best friend (the kid from Journey to the Center of the Earth) is on my list of young actors to keep an eye on. He’s not great or a prodigy or anything but he is steadily improving with each new role and could very well become very good.

This is a kid movie so it was very predictable and occasionally cliche. There was the whole theme of don’t judge others until you get to know them. The expected romance with the monkey girl (yeah you heard me). And the humor was frequently cheesy. Typical stuff you’d expect. Although the language was to a Goonies level.

It is a kid movie but it’s one you can have fun watching when you’re bored. It seems made for a sequel and I hope it gets one because the characters are fun and I’d like to see them again. C +

Law Abiding CItizen 021610

Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is at home when two men bust into his home, immobilize him and murder his wife and daughter. Before the trial, prosecuting attorney Nick Rice (Jamie Foxx) makes a deal with the man who actually murdered them. He testifies against his partner in exchange for a lighter sentence. Clyde is devastated by this and is convinced the justice system isn’t just at all. Cut to ten years later. The convicted intruder is given his lethal injection but Clyde has switched one of the chemicals, which makes what is normally a painless death an excruciating one. On the same day, the more guilty accomplice is kidnapped, immobilized, and slowly cut into pieces by Clyde. He’s put in jail and manages to continue killing all involved in what happened.

The movie moves with a brisk pace, jumping right into the story: the first scene is Clyde’s family getting murdered. A fortunate directorial choice is to hint at the graphic violence rather than show it. Even crime scene photos are fortunately vague. This script was clearly written by someone with some kind of chip on their shoulder about the justice system. Rather than being about fat cats and mob bosses that seem to get away everything like so many of these movies are, it’s instead about some of the more ridiculous statutes that let people walk free. Rather than just saying the system is corrupt and expecting the audience to go along with it like most movies of this sort, it almost presents an essay about why they’re right. And it’s convincing. One weak point that you would assume this film would carry is that, given the plot, you’re rooting for the villain and don’t want him to be caught but the build-up of “justice” is finely handled. In the beginning, you’re totally on board with Clyde’s actions. They seem right, but as he moves further and further down the list of people he feels deserve to die, you sympathize less and less until you want him caught.

In case you couldn’t tell, I enjoyed this movie immensely and don’t have a whole lot of negative things to say. The main one is the ending. It felt the same as the ending to Huckleberry Finn, like the author just kind of decided to wrap it up. The big mystery through the movie is how Clyde is doing what he’s doing and the answer falls flat of what I felt was promised. I also didn’t like the method used to mark when Clyde has gone too far. It was necessary to the plot and I can’t argue with the fact that they did it. I just didn’t want them to do it.

Law Abiding Citizen is a finely acted, well written, and excellently paced throughout. You won’t watch it a lot but you’ll still want to own it because the urge to see will probably randomly strike you. B +.

XIII 020910

The first female president is assassinated and the country is thrown into a frenzy as agencies run ragged trying to find the assassin. Several weeks later, an elderly couple find an injured man attached to a parachute, hanging from a tree. He awakens in their house with no memory. To make this abysmal situation worse, people are trying to kill him and he’s caught up in a slew of political intrigue.

I was wary of this movie initially because straight to video thrillers are very rarely good and Val Kilmer has made a painful number of bombs in recent years but I was pleasantly surprised to find this story very engaging and watchable. The plot sucks you in and the characters are well played and likeable (the ones you’re supposed to anyway). It bares strong resemblance to the Bourne Identity, even stronger resemblance to the book, but it still doesn’t tell the same story so it works.

The bad. It’s a political thriller that seems to have been written by someone with no understanding of politics. The politicians spout right-wing rhetoric while enacting left-wing policies. This may’ve been intentional to keep from picking on a specific side but it makes it difficult to grasp. A lot of things are unclear throughout the entire story as well. We know that the bad guys want to make a certain person president but we don’t know why. Because of that, we only want him to not be president because that’s what the bad guys want. This puts us in the position of not wanting the villain’s terrorist plots to succeed simply because of the loss of life and not because of the grand picture. That’s not bad but it does keep the story from sucking you in. Another annoyance factor was the film’s constant and, in the beginning, distracting attempts to be cool. It puts in quick, random cuts, flashy exposure changes, color effects, etc. None of these do anything to enhance the movie viewing experience. They’re just thrown in there because everyone else is doing it. There’s also this wooshing sound that is used in every fight scene to try and make the heroes actions seem cooler than they actually are.

All in all, a good late-night, popcorn movie. You’ll have fun watching it but you won’t want to see it again. And be sure to turn your brain off for maximum enjoyment. C -.

Couple's Retreat 020910

Jason and Cynthia (Jason Bateman and Kristen Bell) have been married for six years and after their recent disappointment of not being able to have a kid, they start to question their entire relationship. Their solution? They go to a couple’s resort called Eden that specializes in fixing broken relationships. Problem is, they can’t afford it, but they can afford the group rate, so they ask their friends to come along. Dave and Ronnie (Vince Vaughn and Malin Akerman/the girl from Watchmen), a happily married couple who has fallen into the boredom of routine, Joey and Lucy (Jon Favreau and Kristin Davis) a couple who were married right out of high school because she got pregnant and are counting down the days til their daughter goes to school and they can divorce each other, and Shane (Faizon Love) a recently divorced man who takes his twenty year old girlfriend.

This movie was really funny. The difference in relationship statuses, while a tad stereotypical, all work well together for exploring the nature of relationships. They all have to work on different things but they’re all trying to get to the same place. It was nice that all of the problems weren’t the men’s fault only. Example, Joey and Lucy are both so looking forward to being apart that they, they being the plural, are constantly looking at other people. Ronnie and Dave’s relational exodus is particularly fun to watch. They’re both unaware they have a problem so you get to spend the entire movie watching the disagreement develop, start, and resolve. And, as un-PC as this thought is (like I care), it was really good to have a movie like this that didn’t have a gay couple.

The negative is nitpickyish. One thing that gets really annoying toward the end is consistency. During conversation cuts the actors are not even close to the position they were in when the camera jumped. It also wasn’t quite funny enough if that makes any sense. It wasn’t a bad movie and it was definitely a comedy, and a good one at that, but there were some missed joke opportunities. Offhand I can’t come up with examples but they were there. Also, a fight between Ronnie and Dave seems to only occur because the producers felt they needed to have a fight.

I give this movie a B. It’s a great date movie. Guys will actually enjoy it, you might get some insight about your relationship if you identify with any of the couples, and it’s nice to see a rom/com that actually takes place after happily ever after.

Dante's Inferno 020910

Dante, a knight, returns from the crusades gripped by fear because of a sense of foreboding that overtakes him in a forest. He rushes home to find his servants and father slaughtered and his betrothed, Beatrice, dying. She asks him if he remained faithful to her. He says yes and she dies. Her spirit then departs for heaven. Halfway there, demons rise out of the ground and block her before Satan grabs her. He informs Dante that Beatrice promised Satan her soul if he returned safely but didn’t stay true to her. Dante swears he did nothing wrong. Satan laughs and drags Beatrice to hell where he plans to make her his queen and make him more powerful by making a union with a pure soul. To save her Dante must navigate the nine circles of hell and come to terms with his own sin.

This movie is very clever. It takes the story of Dante’s Inferno and transforms it from a passive allegorical poem to an engaging allegorical epic. The entire movie is the story of salvation. Dante begins the story in complete denial of his transgressions but as he traverses each level of hell he is reminded of a new sin that corresponds with those damned to that circle. It’s very violent and bloody but it works with the story and it’s nice to see a Christian story that’s exciting and violent.

The weakest point is also one of the things that makes it cool: the animation. Like the Gotham Knight of 2007 this was made by a couple of different directors so the animation changes every two or three circles, and in some extreme ways; like adding a full foot to Dante’s hair length. I think the nationality of the art changes as well because while the first set of dialogue seemed fine the last set seemed to have the lip-synching completely off. Not unexpectedly some humanism slipped into the story and while it’s expected it’s still a little disappointing all the same.

The movie achieves a B-. I enjoyed it but it’s not for everyone and while I liked it, I don’t really care if I see it again.

End Game 020910

In 1985, South Africa was the most racially split country outside of the Middle East. Both Africans and Afrikaans (descendents of British settlers) lived in fear and distrust of each other and the government’s Apartheid policy didn’t help. Both sides know the policy is the problem but both sides are scared of what will happen if it’s abolished. Enter Michael Young; a British man who does something for a company that has some kind of monetary interest in what happens in South Africa. He longs for the fighting and the terrorism to end. He hatches a plan; get together regular people on both sides who, while involved in politics, are not politicians to talk to each other about the situation in an attempt to get both sides to understand the other. William Hurt comes in as a professor known for some kind of political viewpoint who, during the course of the talks, becomes friends with Chiwetel Ejiofor (the assassin in Serenity) a man who does something for South Africa’s black political movement. The film lets us in on these secret negotiations as well as shows the political turmoil exploding outside of them.

The history lover in me found this movie fascinating. It lets you see the negotiations that had to happen before negotiations could actually happen. It also tells the world know about the unsung hero of Michael Young a man who put everything together, working as the silent author of the end of one the 20^th century’s most infamous political policies. The friendship based on respect between the scholar and the idealist was really engaging to watch as well. The movie’s music theme was also really cool.

As interesting as the history was, the film had two major flaws, the first being a lack of clarity. In the description I was very vague on the details. This is because, so is End Game. I have a very basic understanding of apartheid due to only being six when it ended and I just discovered that right before the credits. I know what was happening but that’s about it. Thanks to this movie, I know about the background stuff, but not the larger picture. That is what it set out to show but anyone not familiar with the actual history will be completely lost. There’s a side story involving political prisoner Nelson Mandela but I only know who he is because of the trailers for Clint Eastwood’s Invictus. This movie did not aid in my knowledge whatsoever. The filmmakers seem to have set out to make a movie strictly for people interested in South Africa’s history and alienates the ignorant newcomers like me.

The second big problem is this is an independent film that is obsessed with its independency. The entire movie seems to be screaming “Look at me. I was filmed on a low budget and I’m deliberately breaking free from the chains of free thinking squelching conventional film rules and tossing aside unnecessary expensive equipment that gets rid of the rawness of film.” Equipment such as the exposure, which causes all of the scenes to appear washed out and grainy or black and grainy. Other equipment not used: tripods and boom mics. I appreciate the steady cam. And I appreciate unconventional filming techniques. But they’re only good if they serve a purpose. This one the purpose of the camera constantly following the actors and being behind objects like bushes, corners, and cars was probably to help give the sense that they were being watched but making the viewer the one watching them only alienates them from the characters on screen. Some films become so much about special effects that they forget what makes a good film is character. This one is so much about lack of effects that it’s forgotten about character. Most of the cuts are jarring and remind you of something you’d see on a home movie which actually helps remind you that you’re only watching a movie; something no director wants.

C-. This movie is great if you’re a teacher and you just covered apartheid in your class, but it’s certainly not an introduction. Rather than bare bones, this film is bare muscle. It’s excess stuff that surrounds the skeleton, so it just sits there, limply on the ground.

A Serious Man 020910

A Jewish physicist watches his life fall apart in the month leading up to his son’s Bar Mitzvah. His wife decides to divorce him for his best friend, his brother is arrested, his neighbor wants an affair with him, and no one respects him.

The movie has recently been nominated for best picture and has the distinct Coen brother’s touch of feeling extremely real while offering characters so absurd that they have to be based on someone. You feel very sorry for Larry and bemoan the situation in his life that is completely beyond his power to control.

Like Fargo, I just didn’t get most of this movie. This was another not a comedy. I laughed a couple of times but it was nothing like Oh Brother Where Art Thou or Raising Arizona. It was actually pretty depressing to watch this guy’s life sink lower and lower as he desperately claws at the mud to try and get out. You become completely emotionally invested it what’s going on and for that the movie spits in your eye. There is no conclusion. There seems to be some kind deus ex machina that makes everything better but you don’t get to see it. Things just become better. Not only that, but the ending doesn’t make any sense. At all. I’m just a lay man in the world of film symbolism but it was just stupid. For that matter, so was the very beginning. It takes place back in either Poland or Russia and, to the best of my knowledge, had nothing to do with the rest of the story.

D. I definitely count this movie as an incredible waste of time and money, both on our end of the screen and there’s. I might be on the opposite end of most film critics but I’m fine with that.

Serious Moonlighting 020910

Meg Ryan plays Louise, a New York power woman who arrives at her country home in time to interrupt her husband, Ian (Timothy Hutton), writing the letter telling her he’s leaving her. He tells her he’s in love with Sara (Kristen Bell), and that they’re running away to Paris together. Louise gets mad (duh) and throws a potted planted at Ian that hits him just right and knocks him senseless. He awakens to find himself duct-taped to a chair and Louise tells him she won’t let him loose until he loves her again.

I actually enjoyed this movie. The whole thing works like a play really. Small cast, singular set and all of the humor comes from the situation and dialogue. After trying to escape under the ruse of having to use the bathroom, Ian wakes up duct-taped to a toilet. Ian insisting that after seeing this crazy side of Louise that he’s gone from lack of love to hate is pretty consistently funny. It was also refreshing to see one of the usually unexplored reasons that men leave their wives. Besides cowardice, selfishness, narcissism, and general lack of feeling. When Louise insists that Sara couldn’t possibly love him as much as she does, Ian responds with, “There’s more to it than that. She needs me. She genuinely needs me. You’re super woman. You haven’t needed me for years.” That’s a soapbox for elsewhere but it was nice to see.

The biggest negative is that halfway through, the movie switches genres on you. Ian attempts to get the attention of the lawn care guy (Justin Long) who decides to rob the house after seeing the situation. This turns into a hostage situation. The problem is, you have the ridiculous situation of wife duct-taping malfeasant husband to a toilet until he loves her again, and a guy shows up to rob the house and leaves them both in the bathroom, duct-taped. This is a really funny situation but it’s done like a deleted scene from Ransom. The funny is tossed aside for drama. When Sara arrives and is consequently duct taped in the bathroom (again, really funny situation), a few more laughs occur but they’re like the jokes thrown in to ease thriller tension. The acting is all superb (I really like Kristen Bell and Justin Long) and writing is good but it seems to have been written and directed by two different sets of people.

All in all, a C+. It’s a fun, quirky movie that you can pick up for a date night (it’s rated R solely for language) but I doubt it’ll become anyone’s favorite anything.

Cold Souls 020210

Paul Giamatti stars as Paul Giamatti but he’s the only person playing himself. His wife isn’t played by, or even have the same name as, his wife. Anyway, Paul is in a play, some Russian thing about an uncle, and because of his involvement with the character and the standard dreariness of all things Russian due to the fact that it’s possible for them to reach their fifth birthday before seeing the sun, his soul is heavy. Enter a company that specializes in removing people’s souls. Paul tries this but, because of his new lack of emotion, his performance suffers. Rather than have to bear the weight of his own soul, he rents the soul of a Russian poet. His performance is now spot on but he’s just not himself. He then decides to get his soul back only to find that it’s been stolen by a Russian soul dealer because his wife wanted the soul of an American actor so she’d be better in her role in a Russian soap opera. Paul then travels to Russia with the female soul mule, who stole his soul in the first place, to get it back.

This whole thing is a cleverly unique concept. The world is completely believable, and made more real by all the characters’ complete disregard for how strange all of this is. Upon discovering the company exists Paul never laughs at the concept, he never asks David Strathairn, the company head, how this could be possible and instead treats the whole thing almost like a plastic surgery inquiry. Paul’s wife, the incredibly underrated Emily Watson (not Emma), doesn’t respond to the situation with disbelief or “You expect me to believe that?” instead she wonders why he would do that.

The movie’s weaknesses are by no means in the setting but instead in the execution of the idea and setting. The entire concept is a completely ridiculous farce, but however the movie is what I like to call modern comedies or barely comedies. Movies like Adventureland, Observe and Report, and Taking Woodstock. Movies that are comedies because they have one humorous line too many to be a drama (though I laughed harder at the Fugitive than any of those movies), the idea only works as a comedy, or the producers just decided to classify it as a comedy because. This movie’s entire set up is a comedy, the story is a comedy, the setting is a comedy, but it’s played as a drama. Sometimes that can work for a comedy but in this movie it doesn’t. To make things worse it really doesn’t work as a drama either. This could be a very creative way to explore the nature of the soul but it doesn’t even raise questions or discussion. Every time a question is raised about the soul, the immediate response is “we don’t know.” I would rather be told something I disagree with because then I at least think about why I disagree.

This movie gets a generous D+. It didn’t suck outright but it’s a great example of sub mediocrity. After finishing it you won’t count it as time stolen from your life because you won’t actually remember it going by and in your life scheduling you’ll lump it in with time spent sleeping.

New York, I Love You 020210

This movie is about. Umm... it um. Hmmm... It’s about love. I guess. It’s several short films about love in New York woven together into a film tapestry.

This movie is very intriguing to a number of people. Foreign film fans will be drawn to it because it’s a revision of a French film, Paris, je’Taime. Casual viewers will be interested because of the monstrous cast list. The names I recognize are, Bradley Cooper, Rachel Bilson, Natalie Portman, Shia LeBeouf, Justin Bartha, Orlando Bloom, Hayden Christensen, Ethan Hawke, Anton Yelchin, John Hurt, Christina Ricci, Robin Wright Penn, James Caan, Chris Cooper, Andy Garcia, Maggie Q, and Julie Christie. Several of the stories are really engaging and/or fun. One about an elderly couple is very sweet to see them fighting like old couples do, only to get lost in reminiscence of years spent in love before being awakened to the present once again. One about the romance between a composer and his patron’s assistant will have most girls thinking aw.... And, though quick, one vignette about a boyfriend surprising his girlfriend is entertaining, sweet, funny, and thoughtful in around a minute. Kudos to them.

Now the bad. I admit my own shortcomings and many may not be in this state after watching this but I didn’t get most of these. Most were too brief and unclear. All of the snapshots were made by different directors and I feel that was good for offering each one a different touch, but it needed a head director to oversee everything. There is no reason to the story order. Some are even cut into separate parts without really building on each other. Frequently the change in directing is jarring and the transitions are barely. Some of the bad ones felt like they could’ve been good ones but there was no time for story development and it felt rushed. That may have been the idea. I don’t know. This isn’t my type of movie.

My grade for this is a C. I liked some of the stories, was okay with some, and really didn’t like others. If you’re like me you won’t enjoy the whole thing. If you think the American Pie movies are brilliant, you’ll hate this. If you like foreign, indy, or art films you’ll probably really like this and see me as a pathetic philistine but I’m okay with that you elitist, frog kisser.

Zombieland 020210

Zombieland follows Jesse Eisenberg as Columbus, a nerd with no friends, a few months after the zombie apocalypse. At first he’s alone but soon he’s joined by Woody Harrelson, codenamed: Tallahassee, a trigger happy guy who enjoys killing Zombies for the fun of it. Emma Stone, codenamed: Wichita, a punk girl who was forced to become a mother too early in life and developed some anger issues for it. And Abigail Breslin, codenamed: Little Rock, Wichita’s little sister who became an adult too soon because of the craziness. Wichita is trying to get them to a theme park just to give Little Rock a little taste of the childhood she’s missing out on. Along the way they have to try to learn about how to live with eachother as well as live period.

Okay. Negative reviews are more fun to read and write but I’ll be honest, I loved this movie. I saw it in theaters. Twice. In less than 24 hours. Someone else paid the first time. But he’s a marine and I pay taxes so I kind of paid for it. For those of you who don’t know, the zombie apocalypse has a cult behind it made of people who either want one to happen, or, in extreme cases, think it might. I’m half in the first category. There’s just something guyishly appealing to being surrounded by mindles, feelingless, soulless, but still bloodthirsty creatures that we get to messily kill in large quantities. Blood and gunk everywhere. Ha. Ha. Now, this movie is great because it is really not a horror movie. It’s a comedy. And an homage to the entire genre. The zombie killing is fun and the jokes are perfect. It’s very reminiscent of Ghostbusters in that while the tension does build the jokes stay constant but still don’t detract or distract from what’s going on. The characters are all believable but still funny and work well off of each other.

As I said, I loved this movie so it’ll be hard to find the weak points due to my rose tinted glasses. One main thing is the setting of the story. It takes place after the outbreak so you don’t have the usual overrun by zombie experience. I would like for this to have been a sequel to that setting. Also more frequent and more creative zombie killing would be a plus. A couple of the more serious scenes do drag a little bit but even then, it’s not noticeably bad and is really nitpicky. Considering this is the director’s first real movie it’s totally forgivable.

With all the great jokes, good acting, fun violence and, quite possibly, one of the greatest cameos EVER this movie, from me, gets a solid A. You’ll want to buy it and watch it pretty much every time a friend is dumb enough to let you know he hasn’t seen it.

Whip It - 012610

Ellen Page plays a retro kid whose mother insists on enrolling her in beauty pageants. Ellen hates them but goes along with it because she doesn't want to deal with the conflict. Then she accidentally discovers roller derby. That's right, roller derby is still in existence. For the first time in her life, she's able to do something she enjoys and since it's a contact sport she gets a little tougher in the process.

This movie is a not much new teen movie. It's almost custom made for Ellen Page and is very similar to most of her other characters. I like her but it would be nice to see her branch out a little bit. The uniqueness of this story is the situation. Most of us know roller derby is pretty dumb but beyond that I didn't know anything about it. This movie makes it look fun both to watch and play. It rather excellently walks the line of picking on the people that are involved without really pointing and laughing at them.

The characters are very enjoyable. The father, the Home Alone crook who wasn't Joe Pesci, is goofy at times but not an idiot and while he is a bit hen-pecked he rebels in creative ways. The mother is, frankly, what you'd imagine young Marie Barone being like. You really don't like her despite the movie's numerous attempts for you to do so. Arrested Development fans will be more than happy to see Maybe on screen again and she does an excellent job of playing Ellen's best friend whose life is going down hill but catches herself before it's too late. The weakest point is the typical boyfriend character. You don't like him at all and not just because he's a jerk. He really has no point in existing. He's not tied to the story for any reason beyond making it more of a coming of age story.

The best parts though all involve the roller derby girls. All of them are unique but still similar characters. Most are nuts but normal enough to where you would want to befriend them. The team coach in particular is a highlight because he takes the game seriously enough for it to be funny but not serious enough to be sad.

For a first time behind camera, Drew Barrymore does a great job of making a witty, nicely paced comedy with enough heart to make it worth watching. Final grade: B+. You'll end up seeing it a lot because you'll watch it, then you'll make a couple of your friends watch it then you'll buy it next year on impulse and you'll watch it a few times after that.